Homeschool commUNITY

OK, moms, let's talk community. Specifically your homeschool community.

Homeschooling is as varied as...well, as the people who choose to homeschool. 

Classical versus unschooling, Apologia versus anything else, government directed versus parent directed, organic versus non-organic, attachment parenting versus schedule driven, religious versus non-religious, skirts versus yoga pants...the list is endless and unfortunately, so is the list of people who've been caught in the crossfire.

Somewhere along the way, probably as far back as Cain and Able, it became an "us versus them" mentality. We looked around at how others were homeschooling their children and felt...threatened, prideful, fearful, insecure...and we began to let those feelings erode our homeschool community. Instead of embracing and loving our differences, they have become the rocks we've used to bludgeon each other to death, leaving many wounded homeschool mommas in our wake.

We seem to have forgotten just how alike we are and have instead chosen to focus on the differences. Consider the fact that most of us have given up livelihoods, careers, newer cars, vacations and Pinterest worthy homes in order to focus our attention on our kids. That in itself is a point of unity. Friends, we're all on the same team! Your homeschool may look nothing like mine, but we're still working toward the same goal - a desire to train our children's hearts in the midst of educating their minds. 

I know some amazing families whose homeschool experience looks nothing like mine. The beauty of these differences are the opportunities they afford us to learn from one another. 

• A college professor/homeschool dad whose kids could talk circles around me on the subject of politics on any given day.

• A sweet mom whose laid back approach has allowed more time for her daughters to perfect their various skill sets and interests.

• The family who travels extensively, forgoing traditional learning in favor of an interactive experience.

• A friend with a child in public school, one in private and one learning at home as they search for the best fit for each student.

• One of my closest friends using the resources offered by IDEA to help her kids get an amazing education.

I am a stronger mom and teacher (heck, I'm a better person) for having known each of these families. I could easily have looked at the different ways they chose to approach their kids' education and assumed them to be wrong based on the fact that they're different from mine. Had I done so, I would have missed out on amazing friendships and experiences. I would have missed out on community.

If you were to drop by for the afternoon, I would offer you my cozy chair, along with a cuppa joe and ask you about your story. Your story is what makes your homeschool unique. I want to understand your journey in order to come alongside and encourage you. Imagine what would happen in our homeschool community if we set aside the "my way or the highway" mentality and genuinely sought to understand and encourage one another on this crazy ride called homeschooling? The impact would be significant, not only for our generation, but for future generations as we lead by example.

So how about you? What does your community look like? Would you say it's characterized by a heaping dose of grace or maybe a bit too much criticism? Have you been guilty of judging? If we're honest, I think we all have at some point along the way. It's time we recognize we're on the same team. It's time to come alongside one another with love and grace in an effort to build bridges rather than burning them to the ground. Time to stop walking in fear of the unknown and recognize that our differences are our greatest strength. Time to lay down the rocks and pick up the pom-poms. Time to become each other's biggest cheerleader. 

Gimme a U! Gimme an N! Gimme an I! Gimme a T! Gimme a Y! What's that spell? UNITY!

And UNITY homeschool mom, starts with yoU!

The Chair

*** This post was recently published in the CHOIS Connection homeschool magazine's spring issue. My new column is entitled A Cup of Encouragement. You can check out the rest of the publication at www.CHOIS.org.

   
There’s a chair in my living room that everyone loves. Not because it’s beautiful, stylish or even incredibly comfortable. It’s certainly not a chair you would find in Southern Living. No, they love it because of what it represents. Friends will often call and say, “I need to come sit in your chair.” Oh, if that chair could talk, what stories it would tell. Stories of laughter shared, tears shed, encouragement given and prayers whispered.

If you drop by my house, I’ll offer you the chair. You’ll sit, feet pulled up under you and hands wrapped around a steaming mug.

That’s when the magic happens.

You may not even recognize it at first, but slowly you begin to relax, your blood pressure goes down and your heart begins to open up. The chair envelopes you like a warm hug…and you may have a hard time leaving.

The chair represents community.

Moms, we were created for community. Real face to face community. Not the on-line, Facebook connection, but the kind that allows you to look into someone’s eyes over a cup of coffee and hear what they’re not saying in a status update. Social media, while it has its place, has given us a false sense of connection. We think because we know what someone had for breakfast, or where they went on vacation that we’re connected with what’s going on in their lives. The problem is most people’s Tweets and status updates are more a reflection of the life they wish they had rather than their current reality.

Real connection takes time and sacrifice. It takes setting aside our agenda for the day and speaking into some’s life. Maybe you’re thinking, “Well that would be great, but you haven’t seen my to-do list.”  True. As homeschool moms we are Busy with a capital B. Building community takes a commitment to lay aside some of that to-do list, to decide that community is important enough to make sacrifices. Sure we can make it through life on our own. We can possibly even homeschool successfully without the support of other homeschool moms to come alongside us, but how much more rich and fulfilling it is to do life in REAL relationship with people we love.  

Who is in your “community”? Who have you spent time getting to know…real, up close and personal? Who has the Lord called you to encourage? Maybe it’s time to log off Facebook, look up from our to-do list and see who the Lord has placed in our lives for such a time as this. Gardens don’t grow without care and attention, children don’t raise themselves and community doesn’t happen by accident.

Be intentional.

Live life on purpose.

Cultivate community.

And if you’re ever in the neighborhood feel free to stop by. The chair is always available, the coffee’s always fresh and there’s always room for one more friend.

Texas in our rear view mirror

As I type this we’re somewhere in New Mexico. We’ve spent the last two weeks roadtrippin’ it from Idaho to Texas and back, logging 2,745 miles with about a 1,100 more to go. We’ve stopped at 87 rest stops, found all but 11 states on the license plate game (anyone from Hawaii?), eaten copious amounts of BBQ, been bitten by 168 mosquitoes, caught crawdads with a stick and cheap bacon, gone fishin’, watched kids learn to drive the golf cart (a rite of passage in our family) and learn to drive the farm truck (another rite of passage), celebrated my dad's 65th birthday with more BBQ (of course!), spent time catching up with awesome  friends and hung out on the family farm unplugging from life. 

It has been an amazing, exhausting gift of a trip. While it was good to come back and visit, ultimately it helped me realize that we aren’t a part of life there anymore. Seeing family and friends was a balm for my soul…just what I needed to be able to finally let go and accept that Idaho is home. 

We’ve left Texas in our rear view mirror, but it will always be in our hearts. 

An inconvenient life

Confession time:  I'm selfish.  Honestly, when it comes down to it we're all basically selfish.  We live in a society that promotes "me first" and "looking out for #1".  We fill our schedules with things we want/need to do. Spend money on things we want.  Take vacations where we want to go.  Spend time with who we want to spend time with.  We're comfortable doing things that please us and make our lives easier and more enjoyable.

Think for a moment how life would look differently if we surrendered each of these areas to the Lord.  If we asked him to show us what things should be on our schedule, what our days should consist of, how our money should be spent and dare I say it, even where we should go on vacation.  Would that change the way we're currently living? 

We've become a much more transient society and the idea of helping our neighbor is all but lost, leaving families and individuals isolated.  Back in the day friends and family lived close to one another and did life together.  If there was a barn to be raised, the whole community came together to help.  Wisdom was shared over canning, quilting and gardening.  People went out of their way to help one another.  They inconvenienced themselves to do what needed to be done.  Regardless of what was planned for the day, when a neighbor needed help they dropped what they were doing to pull together.

We have convinced ourselves that we're so busy with urgent things that dropping everything to help someone would be too much of a sacrifice.  I'm guessing it was back then too, but it wasn't a question of whether or not they would do it...they just did.  I'm not suggesting we start canning, quilting, gardening or barn raising (although that's a great idea), but that we need to be willing to be inconvenienced for the sake of others, learning to live out the truth of Philippians 2:3 on a daily basis - Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Is a friend feeling overwhelmed with a project?  Spend the day helping her finish it.  Know a new mom who could use an extra set of hands?  Take some time to hold her baby so she can take a nap...or a shower!  Drop dinner off unexpectedly to someone you know is struggling.  Flowers and a card of encouragement may be just what someone needs.  

Be willing to be second.

Be willing to do something for others that they can't currently do for themselves.  

Be willing to live an inconvenient life, dying to self to be Jesus with skin on.

I dare say an inconvenient life is exactly the life Christ called us to live.

Prayer - WORD!

You've most likely experienced a similar scenario - Bible study is winding down. As you being to pack up your things, the leader asks if anyone has any prayer requests...two hours later tummies are rumbling and everyone's looking at their watches while the "sharing" continues.  Please don't misunderstand.  It's not that we don't care about what's going on in the lives of those around us, but too much information can leave us wondering what the heck we're really suppose to be praying for!

 

A friend recently introduced me to one word prayers.  Sure the concept is simply, but I found it to be extremely profound and incredibly helpful in praying for people. 

 

How would you sum up your most important/intimate prayer need(s) in a WORD? 

 

One word, no explanation needed. I really had to stop and think about it.  Sure, I've got my list, but what is the central theme running through them all?  This approach forces you to look at what's important.  The benefit to the person praying for you is that it frees them from knowing all the details.  Again, it's not that I don't care about the details of a friend's life...sure I do.  But if I know every detail of a particular situation, I may be tempted to pray in a certain way, with a bias as to how the situation needs to be resolved.  By praying a single word for a friend, I take God out of any box and pray for Him to work in the way He deems best.

 

Think how this would work in your small group, mom's prayer group or with your best girlfriends.  Instead of remembering five different situations and everything that went with it, you simply remember five different words, each one special to a particular person.  As the Lord brings that person to mind throughout the day/week you simply pray their word for them.  The Lord knows the details and will work accordingly.

 

As I thought about the things going on in my life over the past few weeks, I finally summed it up with the word RELENQUISH.  That one word means a whole host of things and actually applies to several different situations, all of which God sees and understands.  He understands and is moving even on levels I don't yet grasp.  It's comforting to know I have a friend who is praying that word with me this week and I can see Him working already.

 

How about you?  What would your word be?  Leave me a comment with your word and I'll pray for you this week.

Social networks vs. REAL community

One of the hardest things for us to give up when we left Texas was our community.  Not the town.  That wasn't hard.  We lived in Sachse...let that sink in for a minute.  Sounds a whole lot like sexy...but I digress.

No, it was the sense of community created by close friends doing life together that we miss.  We lived close to one another, shared meals, helped with kids...we were purposefully in each other's business.  That's not something easily found and certainly hard to leave.

A true sense of community is extremely lacking in today's society, but if you believe social media we are supposedly more "connected" than ever.  A "friend" is only a mouse click or text away.  If true connection is happening then why do more people than ever admit to feeling alone and isolated?  I can have 1,000 "friends" on FB and not be known by a single one.  Let's face it, most of us don't put our real faces out there to be "liked" and commented on by all.  Instead, we put out the bits and pieces we want people to see.  Maybe we're afraid the reality of our lives will cause rejection...maybe we think the truth of our lives isn't exciting enough to be FB worthy...or maybe we're just so unhappy with our current reality that we paint something more along the lines of what we'd like to have.  Whatever the reason, the connections happening on social media do not usually represent true community.

We want to know people; REALLY know people and be known by them.  We want to believe we can share our junk with those closest to us and they won't run away screaming, but will sit with us in the midst of it all.  The reality is we NEED each other.  Not in a "how you doin'?" Facebook sort of way, but in a "get in your business" sort of way.  We need people willing to walk through depression, cancer, addiction, marital struggles, parenting issues...whatever our junk looks like.  People who don't come wearing high heeled, pointy toed shoes they aren't willing to get dirty.  Nope, I want people in my life who come in wearing mud boots.  Maybe even hip waders.  Let's face it - life's messy.  Living through the mess surrounded by true community makes the stinky mess a whole lot more bearable.  

So if you're in my life, I thank you...and I hope you're wearing your mud boots.

Texas friends - a celebration

Thursday night before we pulled out of town the Barnes family threw us a going away party. Not because we were happy to go, but because true friendship is worth celebrating.  There was an Idaho shaped cake (Julie, you rocked that!), Texas sheet cake, stuffed spuds, Texas caviar, blue and orange decorations and of course Lindsay's famous Texas chili.  Well, it's famous to us anyway.  It was an amazing, bittersweet evening. We laughed, cried and prayed together, knowing this is not the end, but just another chapter.  We are not losing these friends, but carrying them with us and looking forward to future memories and times spent together.

I should also mention this is the same group of friends who showed up the night before and stayed until 11:00 p.m. helping us cram everything we owned into the moving pods.  They're the "get your hands dirty living life" sort of friends. Real friends will do that for you.  They don't just say they love, but show it in the way they live.  

To our Texas tribe - Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how we feel.  Living life with you over the past few years has been a gift.  We cherish it all...the good, bad and everything in between.  You have strengthened our faith, challenged and encouraged our family and made life a whole lot of fun.  Our family loves each of you dearly and we thank God for the time we were given with you!  Can't wait for you to visit...the coffee will  always be on.

Forever friends

Six or seven years ago I met a lady through my blog.  We began following each others blogs, corresponding and sharing prayer requests all through the miracle of technology.  She prayed for me through my struggle with depression.  Every time she saw a cardinal (which thankfully was often), the LORD prompted her to pray.  Yep, the Internet is amazing.

What's even more amazing is that I just got to spend two days with this sweet friend IN PERSON!  She flew from Michigan to Dallas and spent the first two days with Edie (another blogging friend) before the three of us met for dinner.

We laughed that night...a lot!  Despite having just met in person, we were connected...we were instant friends because of our connection through Christ.  She doesn't drink coffee (gasp!) or wear flip-flops - two of my favorite things, but I think we were able to work through that.  She does at least like chocolate.  Whew!

After dinner Karen came to stay at my house for a couple of days.  We lounged, we chatted, we took silly pictures of crazy haired ladies, we ate ice cream and we talked some more.  We shared our hearts.  When it was time to say good-bye we parted as forever friends.  Notice I said "forever friends", not "old friends"...there's a big difference! 

I'm truly thankful for what the LORD worked over the miles and how He knit our hearts together.  Looks like I may be visiting Michigan some day...but NOT in the winter!  Snow and flip-flops just don't mix.

Breast cancer SURVIVOR!

This is the picture I've had on my desktop since February 14th, 2011, my daily prayer reminder.  It's the picture of beauty and strength in the face of something ugly; something totally and completely out of our control.  It is the picture of someone fighting a disease with everything in them, while trusting God to control the outcome.   

For the last eight months Tami's been in the fight of her life and today she is no longer a breast cancer patient, she is a breast cancer survivor.  Chemo, a mastectomy and radiation may have changed the outside, but God has done an even more amazing work on the inside.  He has transformed her from someone who knew about Him, to someone who is passionate for Him.  From someone who loved her life, to someone who loves who she is becoming in Him.  Watching the transformation has been an incredible encouragement to my faith.  Seeing her honestly share her journey, emotionally, physically and spiritually, has bolstered my resolve to live transparently. 

It was ugly.  It was terrifying.  It was painful.  It shook Tami to her core, but at the core she clung to what she knew to be true.  The beauty that has risen from the ashes of her ordeal is an amazing testimony that God uses ALL THINGS for our good and for His glory.  Yes, even the ugliness of breast cancer.

What the enemy intended to destroy Tami and her family has instead served to make them more like their Creator.  It has not destroyed, but strengthened.  It has not torn them away, but brought them closer to the heart of God. 

Thank you Tami for your strength and more importantly your willingness to lean on the One who strengthens you.  Seeing you face these last eight months with your usual feisty spirit has made you more beautiful than ever.  I love you!

Driveway Divas

For the past year a group of us have been working out together in a friend's driveway.  Hot and cold, the "Driveway Divas" have endured it all in an effort to stay fit.  I've tried going it alone and have learned something about myself - I need the accountability - read that "I won't work out on my own".  These women keep me going.  They keep me accountable.  I know if I don't show up I'll get at least 3 texts or e-mails about it.  They take away my excuses and challenge me to push through when I want to give up. 

It's the same with our spiritual lives.  We need others to come alongside and help us push through the challenges.  Whether those challenges come in the form of hardship, or just a dry period, we need people in our lives willing to speak the truth and challenge our spiritual laziness.  Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.".  I am thankful for my iron sharpening friends; for those I can count on to pray for and encourage me or kick me in the butt if I need it...and I often do.  These women have seen me at my worst physically, emotionally and spiritually and loved me through it. 

To all my iron sharpening friends - THANK YOU!  I am incredibly blessed to have you in my life.

LOTR and friendship

I am a HUGE Lord of the Rings movie fan. Did I mention HUGE? The films are rich with meaning and imagery, epic scenery and a host of uh-mAzing characters. We've been known to watch all three extended versions in a sitting. At four and a half hours each, that's a lot of sitting.

One of my favorite themes of the trilogy is friendship. There are enough examples and symbolism on that topic alone to keep me writing blog posts for months. My favorite example comes towards the end of number three, Return of the King. Frodo struggles to crawl up the side of Mt. Doom in a last ditch effort to rid himself of the Ring forever. Collapsing in the dirt he lays unmoving. Determined and forever faithful, Samwise picks Frodo up. Holding him in his arms, he rises slowly to his feet and declares, "Then let's be rid of it once and for all. I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!"

Tears every time people! That one line epitomizes the essence of true friendship. Not the "Hi, how are you?" sort of friendship, but the gut-wrenching, slogging it out in the trenches sort of friendship. Such friendships don't come along often. More than likely, as in the case of Sam and Frodo, they are forged through conflict or shared difficulty. Out of the fire rises a bond that is not likely to be broken this side of heaven. You share memories and experiences that others don't understand.

I had a Samwise on my journey through depression. In addition to my amazing rock of a husband, this friend acknowledged she could not carry the burden for me, but was willing to carry me if necessary...and she did. I recognize the part that played in overcoming the depression that hung around my neck like Frodo's ring. Were it not for my Samwise, I'm not sure I would have made it through in one sane piece. But I did make it through...the sane part is still up for debate.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Thank you LORD for giving us people in our lives to share the load.

Courage through cancer

From 2,000 miles away I'm watching my dear friend battle cancer. How thankful I am for e-mail, the internet and daily texting to keep us connected. She is brave...braver than I would be...I wonder.

To see her amazing smile just after she shaves her beautiful head moves me to tears, but not tears of sorrow; tears of hope and courage. Tears because she inspires me to grab hold of today; to be thankful for the small things. She inspires and motivates me to live in the moment. No one is guaranteed another handful of moments and yet how many do we waste on a sour attitude or an "urgent" to-do list? How would we live differently if we knew our moments were almost gone?

Today we had a tea party...yes, even the boys. We talked, we laughed and we made an attempt at teaching tea manners. That brought more laughter. Despite the chill, the front door is wide open. The birds are chatting with one another, the spring bulbs are enjoying their 15 minutes of fame and the sun is cleansing the world of it's winter blues. The freshness reminds me I'm alive and I thank God for a few more moments to live life with people I adore.

Thankfulness and yummy eats...otherwise known as Thanksgiving ramblings

Two days until turkey day and the cooking has begun. The cornbread dressing and shoepeg corn are waiting patiently in the fridge for their turn in the oven on Thursday. I'll make the Bananas Foster cake with rum sauce and cream cheese frosting tomorrow. Thursday I'll just have to cook the turkey and saute the green beans with garlic and roasted pecans. Everything else was delegated and will show up hot and fresh on my doorstep. I love that!

What's on your menu this Thanksgiving? Whatever it is, I pray you'll be enjoying it with family and friends. Whether your family consists of two people or 22 people, fill each moment with as much love and as many memories as possible. Take time to give thanks. Maybe things in your life aren't what you'd like them to be right now, but there are always things to be thankful for...sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper to find them.

I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. Psalm 69:30

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalm 100:4

Thankful ramblings

This evening our family will be enjoying the company of our homeschool friends at this year's Back to School Luau bash. As I anticipate the fun, I'm in awe of what the LORD has done with our little loaves and fish. I never in a million years expected to be running a homeschool group. Nope. I never in a million years thought it would grow from eight mommies in my living room to over 50 families in two and a half short years. Nope. I never in a million years anticipated the incredible blessing of friendship that would come out of this group of ladies. Nope.

But thankfully GOD did. He dreams big that way. Sometimes I have trouble seeing past tomorrow, let alone into next week or next year. Guess that's why my kids beat me at chess. I can't anticipate past my next move, while they seem to be able to play out the entire match in their heads, knowing what move precipitates the next. I'm thankful I serve a BIG GOD that sees the BIG picture. I'm also glad He doesn't often tell me the big picture or I'm pretty sure I'd run screaming the other way.

It's been fun to watch Him grow something like this over time rather than striving so hard on my own to make things happen. I've done it both ways and I can tell you which one is an epic fail. His way is so...perfect. He brings just the right people, at just the right time, for just the right purpose. No forcing things to happen...they just do.

No real purpose to this post. Just a bit of thankful rambling.

Thank you LORD for taking our little loaves and fish and using them somehow in your BIG plan.

Socialization - we're OK, really we are

If you're a homeschooler, the mere mention of "socialization" makes you laugh or cry, depending on your mood on any given day. I could really get on my soapbox here, but I'll save that for a post when I'm feeling feisty...today I find the whole notion rather comical.

One of the things we hear frequently from those outside the homeschool community is "What about socialization?" My question exactly! What about it? What is the big deal? What are people so worried about? When I was a kid I use to get in trouble for talking at school. (Yes, I realize that doesn't surprise many of you!) If talking to our friends at school is "socialization" then it stands to reason that public school kids get in trouble for being social. And yet society thinks the only way to be socialized is to go to school. Hu??? Is anyone else confused by that circular thinking?

I'm chuckling today about the whole idea because we spent the morning at the pool with a boatload of kids playing together for over two hours. Ages four to 14, everyone played, laughed and splashed around together. That looks a whole lot like socialization to me. Then we hurried home to change clothes, drop two kids off at one friend's house and pick up another to bring back home with us. No, my kids are not lacking in social skills, or for kids to hang out with. In fact, truth be told, there aren't enough hours in the day for all the field trips, WII tournaments, water fights and tea parties.

So if you're worried about homeschoolers not being "socialized", let me put your mind at ease. We're OK...really.

Time well spent

The local Christian radio station posed a question tonight during their call in time.

If you knew today was your last day to live, how would you spend it?

Most callers detailed how they would spend it with their loved ones, enjoying time together and saying all the things they wanted to say. Some mentioned things they would not do - watch TV, surf the web, sleep or even eat.

As I considered my answer, a bigger question loomed in my mind. If I know for a fact I would live my last day differently, why am I not living each day that way? If I know what is important enough to spend my final moments on, why am I frittering away time on things that don't matter? Why am I not living each and every day as if it were the last? Not in a morbid sense, but one that makes lasting memories out of daily activities. One that lays aside the tyranny of the urgent for the preciousness of the moment.

My days should include more tea parties, rousing card games, walks in the rain, late night talks over ice cream, less computer time and a lot more hugs. My calender should be filled with things that encourage others and build lasting relationships, rather than things that drain my energy leaving nothing for the ones I love.

None of us is promised tomorrow, but how we spend it could impact eternity. Spend wisely.

Risk taking in relationships

Life is full of risks. Will the new job work out? Did we choose the right investments for our portfolio? Did I consume enough coffee to make it through the day? Obviously some decisions have more lasting consequences than others, but the truth of the matter is that risk taking is part of life.

One of the greatest risks we take is in relationships. Opening our hearts and allowing someone to see who we really are takes amazing courage. I'm not talking about who we are on Facebook or Twitter, or even on our blog, but who we are deep down inside, in the places where our fears and insecurities reside. Revealing the depth of our hearts leaves us vulnerable to disappointment. Rather than risk the hurt, many of us build a wall so strong no one or nothing can penetrate.

Newsflash - people WILL disappoint you.

Expect it and it won't catch you by surprise. Not trying to be pessimistic, but it's the truth. At some point I will disappoint the people I love and they will disappoint me. That's life. I can choose to keep myself guarded so no one gets close enough to allow disappointment, but in doing so I am also choosing not to love. Alfred Lord Tennyson said, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Absolutely Al! I would rather love someone deeply and be disappointed at times than to miss out on the gift their love brings my heart. I have only to hope there is enough grace on both ends to be able to forgive the disappointments, whether intentional or not, while not allowing them to hinder the relationship.

So if the joys a real relationship brings my heart means I also have to endure some disappointments along the way, then I will expect and even welcome it, knowing it is part of being real. Never loving at all is not an option - not in my book and apparently not in Lord Tennyson's either.

Get real!

There seems to be something going around lately. Many people have it. In fact, I believe it may be close to an epidemic. The symptoms are often hard to recognize, except to the trained eye - strained smiles, dull eyes and an apparent lack of joy. Here is the main thing to watch for - ask them how they are doing and they will usually respond, "I'm fine."

That's the key word - FINE.

We are living in a world of people who do their best to appear fine on the outside, while on the inside they are struggling, sometimes even to the point of death. So what is going on? Why is this so hard to diagnosis and why do so many people refuse to admit they are not OK?

One of the main reasons is that we believe the lies of the enemy. Here are a few you may have heard before.

"If I let people know what I'm really struggling with, they will reject me."

"I can handle this. I don't need any one's help"

"I'm suppose to be a Christian. People wouldn't understand my struggle."

Unfortunately, we have bought into these lies wholeheartedly and because of this, have given the enemy what he was after. We are left feeling isolated and defeated, with no one to help us up when we fall.

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

There is no vaccine for this disease. The only cure is gut-wrenching honesty. Sometimes the cure may be as painful as the disease at first. Stepping out of our comfortable little spaces and having the courage to admit we're not OK is scary at best and painful at worst. But it is not until we refuse to continue believing and ingesting the steady diet of lies the enemy is feeding us that we can begin to heal.

So the next time someone asks how you're doing, take a deep breath, refuse to believe the lies and get real.

devotion written for Gateway Girlfriends

Coffee & friendship

Sitting.
Sipping.
Savoring.
Silence.

I wrap my hands around the steaming mug and inhale.
The aroma of friendship wraps around me like a blanket.
It just feels so comfortable...so right.

Excuse me, have you seen my lung?

I have been in my jammies since Tuesday.

No, that is not a typo. We are still sick with the flu and bronchitis. My kitchen resembles a black market pharmacy.

I cough so hard every part of my body hurts.

Here comes the good part. Despite feeling worse than I have ever felt in my life, I also feel more loved than I have ever felt in my life. We have been overwhelmed with friends calling and bringing meals to save our family from the perils of too much Captain Crunch.

It is humbling.

It is amazing.

It gives us great cause for thanks.

We may be sick, but we sure are blessed!