Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Risk taking in relationships

Life is full of risks. Will the new job work out? Did we choose the right investments for our portfolio? Did I consume enough coffee to make it through the day? Obviously some decisions have more lasting consequences than others, but the truth of the matter is that risk taking is part of life.

One of the greatest risks we take is in relationships. Opening our hearts and allowing someone to see who we really are takes amazing courage. I'm not talking about who we are on Facebook or Twitter, or even on our blog, but who we are deep down inside, in the places where our fears and insecurities reside. Revealing the depth of our hearts leaves us vulnerable to disappointment. Rather than risk the hurt, many of us build a wall so strong no one or nothing can penetrate.

Newsflash - people WILL disappoint you.

Expect it and it won't catch you by surprise. Not trying to be pessimistic, but it's the truth. At some point I will disappoint the people I love and they will disappoint me. That's life. I can choose to keep myself guarded so no one gets close enough to allow disappointment, but in doing so I am also choosing not to love. Alfred Lord Tennyson said, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Absolutely Al! I would rather love someone deeply and be disappointed at times than to miss out on the gift their love brings my heart. I have only to hope there is enough grace on both ends to be able to forgive the disappointments, whether intentional or not, while not allowing them to hinder the relationship.

So if the joys a real relationship brings my heart means I also have to endure some disappointments along the way, then I will expect and even welcome it, knowing it is part of being real. Never loving at all is not an option - not in my book and apparently not in Lord Tennyson's either.


  1. The Bible is clear, it is through our relationships that we become the bride of Christ. Even those difficult relationships draw us nearer to Him and, hopefully, help us to become more like Him. Great post! Lisa~

  2. That's a news flash I think more people need to realize.
    When we expect perfection out of other people and our relationships, we're setting ourselves up for bigger disappointments. We need to be real, and we need to give lots of grace.
    Love you!

  3. This is good, Ang.

    Jamie and I decided a few years back that we were going to choose to be vulnerable and real. We knew this meant we would be misunderstood, rejected, hurt, and possibly taken advantage of. Yet it is only through the path of vulnerability that we'd ever have a shot of the kind of relationships we really desire to have. So even with all the risks, we choose to be vulnerable.

  4. Morning, great post...I have a list of Rexas bloggers and woul love to add you to the list, please come by and follow along.


  5. Love it! It's the expectations of others that gets us in so much trouble! We expect....they expect....We get misunderstanding! I so agree with you. There is so much joy in being real, because you never have to remember who you are to which people! If you're like me, it's just so much better to be real, because who can remember who they are "supposed" to be! There's so much grace for the real! Great insight, thanks for sharing!
    Sheri (Sherri Barton shared your blog with me, I'm so glad she did!)


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