Monday, May 3, 2010

Mall reflections

For the first time in forever I found myself in the mall today. Since I'm sure you're all dying to know why, I'll tell you. We were celebrating (still celebrating) Connor's birthday from last week by taking the kids to Amazing Jakes. In case you're not familiar with Not So Amazing Jakes, it's one of those places with go-karts, Tootsie rolls redeemable for a small fortune ("Oh look Mom, it's ONLY 10 tickets!") and something slightly resembling a pizza buffet...yes, it's every boys' dream and every mother' know of what I speak.

In an attempt to escape for a bit of quiet, I took a stroll around the mall. Now, before you freak out and call CPS, Mike was with the kids. I did not leave my kids running around unsupervised...good...glad we cleared that up.

Back to my stroll. After a few short minutes, I remembered why I don't shop at the mall. OK, I remembered several reasons why I don't shop at the mall.

#1 - Victoria's Secret - Can someone please tell me just WHAT she is keeping secret, because it looks to me like she's lettin' it all hang out! Put your clothes on for pities sake. Enough said.

#2 - Forever 21 - Seriously? Do I need to tell you all the things wrong with this one? I thank the good LORD I am NOT forever 21 and if I'm at least twice that age, I certainly don't need to be dressing like I THINK I'm 21. Where's the Pushing 40 store...that's what I want to know.

#3 - Shoes - OK, I thought at least this one would be safe, but have you SEEN the shoe styles for this summer? Seriously? They look like a case of gold lame and Gladiator gone bad. Uh uh...I don't think so. I'll keep my flip-flops thank you very much.

Which brings me to another pet peeve - why do they hide the women's size 9 shoes in the v.e.r.y back corner by the men's clearance section? Should I be so ashamed at having an ample sized foot that I have to shop in the back corner after walking past all the cute, petite little shoes up front? Good grief.

Needless to say my saunter around the mall was brief and I didn't spend a dime. Made Not So Amazing Jakes look a bit more amazing.


  1. Hi.larious!

    I haven't been to a mall (my husband calls it the "temple of mall") in years. You summed it up perfectly.

    Forever 40....LOL! I am cracking up!


  2. Enjoyed this stroll through the mall with you. *grin*


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