Even though Fred may be gone, he seems to have left quite a mess in his wake...sort of like the clean up following a hurricane. The storm itself can be devastating, but what's left as a result is certainly no picnic. I think it's how we choose to deal with the clean up that determines what things look like after the fact. Do I rebuild the same house and put up the same decor, going on with life as I knew it, or do I start from scratch, rearranging and letting the Master Builder give me an Extreme Heart Makeover?Honestly, rebuilding the familiar would be so much easier and a whole lot less messy. Quite frankly, at times that is exactly the route I want to take. I've lived there a long time. I know how everything looks. I know where the decorations go...it's comfortable and familiar. It makes me feel safe...very safe. One thing I've learned over the last year is that security of my own making is no security at all, but merely a temporary hiding place.
Giving over control of the rebuilding process is certainly no cake walk. I'm use to being in control. I like being in control...and what God has shown me is I stink at being in control! OK, so why then is it so difficult to give it up? Pride? Fear? Probably a large helping of both. I am working to replace those thoughts with His perfect promises. "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." II Cor. 12:9 Paul had this part figured out. He could say he actually boasted in his weakness so that Christ would be glorified. It's all part of the rebuilding process. I have to be willing to let go of my blue print and trust completely in His perfect plan.
Lord, help me get to that point that You will be glorified. To give over the fear and allow you to replace it with contentment as you rebuild this house to Your exact specifications.
I hear what you're saying, Angela. The rebuilding process is scary but it can be fun, too. Take with you only what you loved from the first and have fun discovering other things along the way. I am.:) And ask for help when your load feels overbalanced. When the washing machine starts knocking, you don't just kick it or ignore it, you stop and rebalance it so it spins smoothly again and doesn't tear up the tile or the walls as it bounces around. :) I love your prayer. - Marla
ReplyDeleteAnd now every time I see a cardinal, I know how I need to be praying for you!
ReplyDelete"and what God has shown me is I stink at being in control!" Yeah. I stink at it, too, but struggle right along with you in giving it up. *sigh*