Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Depression has a name

Sometimes the fear of not knowing something is scarier than actually knowing the monster and giving it a name. My monster now has a name. I don't have to wonder if it will jump out of the closet and consume me anymore. I can face it head on and deal with it. There is comfort in this approach, even if the monster itself is still fairly scary.

I found a new doctor today who was able to tell me why I am depressed and what we need to do to fix it. Seems I've been on a medication for the last six months that was only dealing with a small fraction of my symptoms. I can't even explain the immense relief I feel knowing that behind the monster is a light, however dim it may appear at the moment...I know it's there.

I know I will get better. Knowing that makes it all a little less scary...and that monster? I think I'll name him Fred.


  1. I have to say that I'm thrilled to learn that you are a Bible believing honest Christian woman who recognizes that using medication does not make you less of a Christian.
    I feel that too many Believers are so afraid of admitting that they are depressed, or sick, or anything else that might require medication. They also feel that taking meds will make them weak in their faith. "If only I had more faith...this would go away" kind of mentality.
    Depression is real. It won't always go away if you just "pray more". God gave us doctors and medical knowledge for a reason.
    My prayers continue to be with you as you struggle with Fred. I know that you will defeat him!

  2. Fred is there to make you stronger. Fred makes you realize that we're really, truly losers with Christ. Fred makes things clear. (I know it sounds like an oxymoron)

    Fred will help you to be a servant to others and help other women who are struggling with him hanging around.

    I hope Fred leaves you soon.

  3. So glad you had a good appointment today. I am praying for you each and every day.

  4. Sounds like great news. I love your family picture on your header!

  5. Fred.
    I love it, Angela.
    Fred just sounds conquer-able to me!
    Praying for you, my friend.


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