Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Modesty, childbirth and depression??

Let's last post talked about never-ending labor. The ones before that dealt with depression. Why not a post that talks about both?

I was thinking this morning about my labor with Austin. I'm a modest person, but it is hard to be modest while wearing a gown intended to reveal much and cover nothing. Nevertheless, I tried throughout the LONG process to keep myself as covered up as possible. As the hours wore on, my focus changed and I began to care less and less about being modest and more and more about getting the whole thing over with. Numerous doctors, nurses, interns all coming and going, checking, poking, finally got to the point I didn't care if the Pope had walked in and seen me...I was done! My modesty had been stripped completely away and all my energies were focused on getting to the end.

How is this at all like depression?

When I first began struggling with depression, I did all I could to keep myself covered. I could handle this. I'd get through it on my own. I didn't need to tell anyone. That's the thing about's a lot like those lovely hospital gowns. It is hard to keep everything covered, to keep going like you are fully clothed when in fact your whole backside is showing. As time has worn on, I have become much less concerned with being modest. My goal is to work through this process, to deal with issues and move on. And I don't care at this point who sees me.

Childbirth hurts. Depression hurts. But with both, there is new life.


  1. Angela,
    You are simply beautiful and I am praying God will show you that new life.
    Thank you for being real here.
    Love you,

  2. I love this post. I see that it's way old, but I am getting to know you so to speak. I too around 07 was posting transparently about my depression. I LOVE that you see that particular trial as an answer to prayer, a hand-crafted-event to bring you closer to Jesus! :)


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