Four reasons Elf will never sit on my shelf

This whole elf on the shelf thing...I'm not a big fan. Not that he's not cute and all. His funny antics can be seen on social media posts throughout the holiday season. People are so clever! He's certainly a naughty little thing, but I can see how his mischievous escapades would delight children and parents alike. Me? I'm not so delighted.

Four reasons Elf will never sit on my shelf:

1. Failure people...failure. 

Every single day of December this whole elf thing would set me up to fail. Coming up with something cute and comical for him to do on a daily basis would leave me completely stressed out. I'm the mom who who rushes in all ninja like seconds before my kids wake up to replace the tooth with the money because I forgot...again. Four kids and Lord knows how many teeth and I STILL forget. After a few days of forgetting to move the little thing I would probably just have to tell the kids that he met with an unfortunate accident and was no longer with us. 

2. He makes a mess! 

I already spend the majority of my life cleaning up after five other people and a dog. Why would I knowingly add another member whose sole job is to make messes and get into trouble? Nope. Not gonna do it.

3. Expectations. 

When our kids were little I came up with this great idea for hiding their Easter baskets. We tied a piece of string to their bedposts and had them follow their colored string to find the hidden surprise. Sounds like fun doesn't it? Well, apparently it was a little too much fun because now they are teens and it is their FAVORITE tradition of the year! Heaven forbid we should miss it. We skipped the year Dad had knee surgery and they've never forgiven us. Do you know how much time it takes to intertwine four skeins of yarn all over the inside AND outside of the house? Trust me...it's a long time. Traditions are great, but just make sure it's one you're willing to continue until the cherubs move out.

4. It doesn't make sense. 

The premise is that Elf is checking up on kids to see if they're being naughty or nice so he can report back to Santa. But from what I can tell most of his antics would certainly fall into the naughty category. So the elf is going with the "do as I say, not as I do" theory of parenting? Nope. It doesn't make sense.

Now don't get me wrong. If you are a parent who has welcomed Elf into your home with open arms then great...kuddos to you. I'm just glad he's busy making messes at your house and not mine because I'm pretty sure if Elf were on my shelf he just might send me over the edge of Christmas sanity. Just bein' real people...just bein' real.

So, is Elf hanging out on your shelf this year?