Where were you Lord?

To everyone who has felt the pain of losing a baby, please take a minute to read my friend Cate's blog. It is an amazing portrait of a loving heavenly Father. One who is there in every moment, every ounce of pain, every second that forces us to question, "Where were you Lord?" If we are brave enough to ask the question about our most vulnerable moments, we will hear Him whisper "Right here".

Dare to hope

The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!" ~ Lamentations 3:22-24

Do I believe that? Can I look at the circumstances of my life and trace the loving hand of God? When I think of Him, does His faithfulness overwhelm me?

If the answer to these questions is 'yes', then I can certainly dare to hope. Dare to hope for a new beginning. Dare to hope for an end to a difficult situation. Dare to hope for restoration. Dare to hope for anything my mind can conceive...and a whole lot it can't!

God has proven His faithfulness and unfailing love to me in so many ways this past year. If I did not believe He would see me through those dark days, then what was the point of continuing on? If I did not believe He loved me enough to bring goodness out of destruction, then what was the point of fighting? I remember praying on several occasions, "LORD, give me a glimpse of you today." A small prayer with a huge impact. No matter how bad things looked, He never failed to answer that prayer. He cannot fail to answer that prayer. His faithfulness would not allow it.

I love the last part of verse 24 - ..."The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!" My hope is not based on my circumstances or what possible outcome I might foresee. Thank God for that, especially on those days when getting through another five minutes seemed an impossibility. My hope is based on an incredible God with an incredible inheritance lined up for me.

Yes, because I trust His promises completely, I can dare to hope.

Swiffer WetJet makes me happy

It's the little things that make me happy...dark chocolate, iced coffee, hugs and kisses from my kiddos, dates with my sweetie and my new Swiffer Wetjet. Strange I know. I don't normally get excited over cleaning products. I could easily get excited over hiring a house keeper, but cleaning products I have to use myself? Not so much.

I picked up one of these beauties on sale at Wally World this week for around $15 bucks. Not bad considering it was normally $22. After bringing it home and mopping my floor the first time, I was hooked. Before you tell me to get a life, hear me out on this. I could not believe the stuff that showed up on that little white pad! Eewww! Seriously? That's what we've been walking around on? I can easily see how one might become a bit OCD with this thing...not me of course...I'm just sayin'.

Quasimodo and compassionate kids

I pulled a muscle working out on Monday and have been gimping around ever since. Not quite Quasimodo, but close.

From the moment I came hopping in the door in tears my kids have been amazing. Once they got me settled, they were bringing me things I might find helpful - a whistle (in case I need one of them to help me), pillows, coffee, even E's favorite green blankey (she let me hold it for all of ten minutes and then politely asked for it back). One even tried to fashion me a wheelchair out of footballs and large amounts of scotch tape, until his younger brother pointed out the physical impossibilities of such an idea. That C, he's my visionary kid!

I love what this week has brought out in my kids. I love answering the same "How is your leg Mommy?" question at least every five minutes because it shows their care and concern. Their compassion has melted my heart and given me an amazing glimpse into theirs. That makes all the inconvenience and halt on my 'to-do' list absolutely worth it.

A walk through the wardrobe

The beloved story of Narnia is one that captures the hearts and imaginations of young and old. Who wouldn't love stepping through a magical wardrobe to find themselves in a different world? To meet a whole cast of characters different from ourselves? To fight an epic battle between good and evil, knowing you are on the winning side?

Such is the tale of the Christian life. We become a Christian only to find ourselves in a different world - in it, but not of it. We live, work and play surrounded by an array of people different from ourselves, some more so than others. That's what keeps life in the wardrobe interesting! And the epic battle fought between good and evil? We're in it. "We battle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers of this dark world." We may not be able to see the creepy creatures Peter, Susan, Edmond and Lucy battled in their quest for victory, but they are just as real.

The Pevensies fought for an end to eternal winter. What are we fighting for? Our very lives and the lives of our children. Aslan is here. He is walking among us, but we must recognize his presence through our faith. Lucy was the only Pevensie with enough faith and courage see the great lion. The others attempted at every turn to fight the battle on their own. It wasn't until they acknowledged his presence and turned over control of the fight to him that things began to take a positive turn.

Are we, like the practical minded Peter, Susan and Edmond, attempting to fight without acknowledging the King's presence? If so, we might as well stop now and surrender. We can not be effective on our own. Period. Or are we, like little Lucy, always watching and waiting for him to move and speak?

As I walk through the wardrobe, I pray I am following the great lion's footsteps, waiting with baited breath to hear His voice.

If it's broken, fix it!

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8

Today I am incredibly thankful for the Holy Spirit who reminds me of truth. It doesn't seem to take much for our minds to become filled with junk...things the enemy desires us to believe in order to keep us from living life fully by the Spirit. The thoughts never appear as outright lies, but instead are cloaked in some semblance of truth, just enough so that we buy into them hook, line and sinker. Only by allowing the Holy Spirit to remind us of His perfect truth, are the lies exposed. As we fix our thoughts on Him, He reveals where our thought lives are in need of repair.

Thank you Lord for helping me to fix my thoughts on You. Continue to expose the lies and help me to replace them with your perfect Truth.

Extreme Heart Makeover

Even though Fred may be gone, he seems to have left quite a mess in his wake...sort of like the clean up following a hurricane. The storm itself can be devastating, but what's left as a result is certainly no picnic. I think it's how we choose to deal with the clean up that determines what things look like after the fact. Do I rebuild the same house and put up the same decor, going on with life as I knew it, or do I start from scratch, rearranging and letting the Master Builder give me an Extreme Heart Makeover?

Honestly, rebuilding the familiar would be so much easier and a whole lot less messy. Quite frankly, at times that is exactly the route I want to take. I've lived there a long time. I know how everything looks. I know where the decorations go...it's comfortable and familiar. It makes me feel safe...very safe. One thing I've learned over the last year is that security of my own making is no security at all, but merely a temporary hiding place.

Giving over control of the rebuilding process is certainly no cake walk. I'm use to being in control. I like being in control...and what God has shown me is I stink at being in control! OK, so why then is it so difficult to give it up? Pride? Fear? Probably a large helping of both. I am working to replace those thoughts with His perfect promises. "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." II Cor. 12:9 Paul had this part figured out. He could say he actually boasted in his weakness so that Christ would be glorified. It's all part of the rebuilding process. I have to be willing to let go of my blue print and trust completely in His perfect plan.

Lord, help me get to that point that You will be glorified. To give over the fear and allow you to replace it with contentment as you rebuild this house to Your exact specifications.